So damn fucking funny

sex stories

Hippie and the bus driver
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

The boss and secretary

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still fucking!"

Women and pleasing

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please

I need a bike!

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

story by: Unknown user



Tags: fiction job/place-of-work bi-sexual anal gay sex story

Author: Unknown user



Related sex stories:

  • My DJ

    my wife and i frequent a local bar/restaurant that features a DJ on friday and saturday nights. the regular DJ is in his mid thirties and does a good job of playing to the crowds likes. on one particular friday night the regular guy was busy with another engagement. he was replaced by a former co-worker who we used to follow on weekends. seeing tommy for the first time in a few years was a nice surprise. diane and i...

  • Our first time 4females -2 males

    This story has some age with it, and with most things that I have become accustomed to , it has gotten better with time, now whether the story happened the way I¡¦m about to tell it or its just my fond memories, is left to be determined. We were 19 & 20, hadn¡¦t been married very long, but we were hot blooded, and already seasoned as our first dates were at parties where a lot of alcohol, and sexy were...

  • Vacation without hubby

    Judy here, im a married woman, My husband Jim is a hard working guy and a good lover. But he was working to many hours in our love life was hurting, So we plan a vacation to get out of the snow and into a nice warm place to have fun and get our sex life fired up. I went out and bought some hot sexy clothes and a really small bikini. Just to get him going. Well i was...

  • The Beginning and the End

    I could see the world burning around me and all I cared about was the pleasure Cassidy’s mouth was bringing me. Eventually I pulled her head off me. Her face was red and covered in sweat. She fell back to the bed. I kissed her lips. They were soft and worn from my thick cock pillaging them. “Ok I want you back on your knees.†I demanded. “Let’s watch this together.†I was miles away from where wanted to be,...

  • Setting up my wife

    For about the last year my wife has been very down on herself, she has had a few medical problems and she has put on a little weight. This has made our sex life very slow because she says she doesn't feel sexy even though I praise and encourage her all the time. We decided to take a weekend and go out of town with out the kids, it was her birthday weekend. I made us some plans of a...

First time sex story – after my high school prom

What a great 4th of July

Vacation without hubby

Lelo Gigi show over Skype

The doors are open

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.