Sex joke

Sex joke

sex stories

Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?
A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

story by: Crude Guy



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: Crude Guy



Related sex stories:

  • Getting what I want

    Yes they call me things. Slut, mole, bitch whore… Maybe I am? But at least I now get what I want. Jamie was the first married man I corrupted and slept with. Yes he was a friend’s partner but that just made it all the more fun. I can tell you where it started… I had just had enough.Man after man promising the world. Then giving me an atlas.I was sexually unsatisfied and decided ‘no more!’I al (more…)

  • Gym sex story – oral sex with my teacher

    As I changed clothes, I fantasized about how I have always wanted to have a woman take control. The woman in my fantasy would be older, and she would approach me push and me against the wall. She would tear my shirt open as she kissed my lips and neck. She would aggressively take off my trousers and suck my short, plump cock. Oral sex with my gym teacher.The report from my doctor was not good and the only option...

  • BDSM story starting a new journey

    On one wall hung an array of whips, paddles and straps. There was a bench covered in a black silk cloth on the left as you walked into the room. On it were candles, nipple clamps, fanny clamps, pegs and small ropes. The next shelf down contained boxes. One filled with feathers, another with masks to cover the willing participants’ eyes. The third box was full of dildos in all shapes and numerous butt plugs. In short… Gilbert’ (more…)

  • Ski lodge fun

    We had finished skiing for the day and were tired and cold and were looking forward to a cold beer at the base lodge. It was a dark wooded bar with a roaring fireplace. There were lots of tired skiers enjoying their treat at the end of a strenuous day. We had a booth near the fire and it was a fairly private with only one other booth in our view. My girlfriend Marie pushed her boots off and warmed...

  • Birthday sex story

    He parted my legs and started licking my wet and throbbing pussy. I could feel his tongue on my vaginal lips as my nails dug into his back. I arched my back and spread my legs even wider. I moaned loudly as he licked my pussy dry. I had heard stories of multiple orgasms, but little did I know this night it was my turn. My name is Cindy and on May 29th I celebrated my birthday in the most...

Sorority hazing

New years prep

The ride home

Birthday sex story

Watching mom

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.